happy memories?

chit chat with xuelin for few minutes.. told her about my feeling recently.. then, she asked me to write more good memories that i have with him.. but, is it really can help me to feel better? honestly, he treat me better and better dy.. nowadays, he just accept and listen wat i said and talked to him.. watever i want to do, he also did it for me.. is it a good sign? haiz.. sien lol.. normally, young girl should have happy life.. but me? haiz.. someone called me at nite.. the nite b4 last nite.. we talked peacefully.. for about 1 hr.. if he is not belong to another one, sure i accept him.. but, i cant..

memories which hardly forgotten

there is a thorn deep inside my heart. really hard to forget about it. what can i do to make it dissappear? what can i do to make myself happier? what can i do to have a greater life?
sometimes, i suddenly think of her.. then, view her fb. then, haiz.. saw tat how happy is she.. how pretty is she... how slim is she.. really hardly accepted.. its unacceptable!! xuelin advised me not to think too much, not to envy about her tat much.. but, can i do tat? can i? i'm not confident enough.. haiz...
after this incident happened, i dont feel secure.. i dont feel confidence.. i dont feel good.. haiz.. what should i do? can i just leave??

很在乎

其实，我真的还很在乎。。怎么办？到底该如何是好才可以脱离这个想法？这个感受？有时候，真的真的很辛苦。。很想逃跑。。家劲啊~ 唉。。我真的以为我可以完全不去想。。 但刚刚，我居然上面子书看她！！！唉。。。我知道，人比人比死人。。但是，就是不由自主地去比较。。唉。。。很想发生一场车祸，失去记忆。。

说了再见

周杰伦的'说了再见'真的很好听... 很感触.. 我们,从没有变成有,从冷变热,又由热变回冷.. 他,试着改变.. 确实,他变好了... 可是,我吵着要看戏时,他不要.. 这个时候,我就会想起,当初,他有时间,也很乐意跟她看戏,为什么,我就不可以?
从何时开始..他开始不喜欢带我去看戏了?我想不起了... 我假装过去不重要,却发现自己办不到.. 但是,我真的习惯有他帮我铺好路让我走的生活了.. 该怎么办? 有时候, 面对着他常常吵架的父母, 他那超霸道的姐姐, 还有,吊儿郎当的他.. 我真的想逃跑.. 但是,那也只是一霎那的想法而已... 难道,我真的那么没用?
我真的很希望自己可以遇到一个真的好的,对的人... 唉...

真的很难过·

昨天亦是明鑫的死忌。四年前的昨天，我们都很伤心。昨晚，收到乐慧丽的信息，得知她父亲离开人世了。我也伤心。今早，又得知了，声强的父亲，昨晚车祸被撞，在路上，去世了，到今早才发现的。唉。。为什么会这样？
今天的我，信息了他。多久没联络他了？虽然，现在的我，心里已有了我的他，但是，偶尔，还是会想起他。。唉。。现在的“节省”也跟我一样吗？会偶尔想起她吗？我不希望他想着她，但我自己呢？也还不是偶尔会想起他？唉。。