夜, 深了

夜深了

脑海里,还很多画面不停地闪过

他突如其来的要求,让我不知所措

我.. 真的很想要拥有那件裙子,弄眉毛,等等..
我.. 真的很想要跟普通人一样, 很开心..
但是,我今天很不开心...

有时候,
想着那件事...
转眼间,事情过了一年..
今天的日子是我去年回家乡的第二个星期
多两个月,就是他们认识一年的纪念日..
我,还是有些介怀
好烦好烦

AGAIN

we quarrel again.. last nite.. i hate him.. always tot tat i like to spend money.. i control myself dy, but, still not enough.. eventhough i control myself dy, in his mind, i am still a girl who like to spend money.. well, i decide not to buy car dy.. i decide to continue my old life.. going out clubbing, shopping, yamcha-ing with my friends.. i hate myself.. always hope tat i can take photos with my love one.. always hope tat i can have fun with him.. always hope tat i can go out with him.. but, wat he think about me?? like to spend money, like to play.. shit! i feel shit!!! he doesnt know me..never know me.. i'm so sad.. hopeless.. helpless.. sigh~ how could he forget about her so easily?
绝口不提就代表他忘了她吗? 我也知道,这是不可能的.终于,他因为我常常提起她,他,不耐烦了..我也累了..常常拿自己跟她做比较.难道,真的要放弃他,我才会好过一些些吗?当初,我是以什么心情接受他?当初,被他被判,我又以什么心情跟其他人一起?当初,得知他为她掉眼泪,我又是什么心情?一切一切,确实已经过去了..但是,我的心,还是好难过..时时刻刻都提醒自己,不可以再心软.什么时候,我才会觉醒?
回忆过去,真的好痛苦,第二次,感觉到四周围都是黑暗的.第二次的感觉到,多么多么的痛..不管我怎么吃,吃再怎么多,还是空空的..你,曾经这样吗?怎经感受到这种心情吗?
我决定,放开所有一切回忆.迎接我的开心未来.他与她的事,就藏在无底洞吧!改变自己,活得更好.不好吗?

she knows it

i think, she knows dy.. we view her post in fb.. tats y she change her setting in fb. haiz.. i felt not good these few days.. i feel unsafe.. i feel unsecure.. haiz.. but he doesnt know.. and i'm sure he wont know and never know.. i did nothing these 2 days.. but he was so bz.. going out whole day.. haiz.. and i'm sick at home.. he didnt care about me.. sien!

a very boring saturday

today is saturday. bored. nothing to do. i woke up at 11.40am this morning! feel sick... flu.. haiz.. sien lol!~ very headache about the house we rent in tropicana. the owner we met is so stupid and rude one! i'm so tired.. tired to think about it dy! since someone is make me upset. watever he promise me, at the end = zero! wat he did are all totally different with wat he promised! i damn damn sien!~ besides that, i feel tat i'm so so so useless! i'm poor, cant help him in financial. i'm so stupid, cant help him in solving problems. somehow, i still think too much and think about tat girl.. and never help him much in life. i hate myself.. why am i so ugly? why am i so fat? why? why?? why??? WHY????? i'm totally dissatisfy about myself! arhhhh!!~ geram!!!! gerrrrr....!!!!!

无言

我,无言.
无言相对.

不想理会.

好想忽视你的存在, 但, 我办不到.

当你忽视我的感受时, 我好不开心.

当你让我失望时,我好不开心.

为什么你每次都可以信誓旦旦的答应我任何事? 最后却让我失望?

我好累..

真的累了..

想放弃了..

我该怎么办?

打击

我深受打击,你懂吗? 我真的应该瘦个十公斤? 你觉得我能吗？老实说，你，让我学会了很多事。。你在我的生活里扮演着蛮重要的角色。。没有你，就没有今天的我。。是你，让我看清了很多事。。也许我不是你要的那种，但是，我就是我，很难变。。哎。。 上帝其实并不公平，，

money ar...

finally, moving into my new unit liao.. tropicana.. the environment is better.. not bad.. but, we met a stupid and bad owner.. so, going to move to another unit soon.. sien ar.. i want to buy oxymask.. it can make my face smaller, fair, and make the blemish disappear!!! haiz!!!! sien ar! money ar money! ask him to sponsor 50 also cant! sien! tat thing cost me 200.. haiz!!!!!!! sien ar!!